The Tryst with ET
Part-1
arre boss !!!..yeh speilburg ka ET nehi hai..yeh apanka ET
hai..boleto "Economic Times" !!..
yessssss!!!!..economic times!!!!..a must read for finance
"freelancer", MBA grads...budding MBA grads (those who r practising
"CAT"walk under the esteemed guidance of models from Indian Institute
of Money (management?)) and businessmen and all the Demat a/c holders. All the
businessmen show their "busy-ness" with ET in one hand and lappy
(read laptop) in the other !..I thot why shud I lag behind??..when I ask any
successful candidate in "money race" what should be on my regular
"reading diet" for building reading muscle, he says with a smug,
pouring 5 sugar sachet into CCD coffee mug, "ET !!..I have read ET
regularly for the past two years!!....hhehee..only then will JP Morgan Chase
chase you buddy !!..".....ET !!...hmm...I hav seen it..in yellow color..So
I decided I must hav a copy as soon as possible !!..the whole country is
reading ET to understand the economics, business, finance, recession,
inflation, merger & acquision, GDP, SENSEX, NSE, BSE, best stocks to buy
etc...etc...I cant remember if I had read any of these terms till my 10+2. or
even in my engg. days. suddenly what happend?..Did I come to a different
world?...did I swim ashore an island from a sinking ship ? and that island is replete
with never-seen-before people who talk and think in differnt subject that I
hardly knew it exists !! I kept wondering..Did I skip any subject in my
school?...I didnt attend a partcular class everyday to watch some slum-kids
playing football in a muddy ground in mansoon?? then why suddenly a subject (or
group of subjects) rears its head ( or its ten heads like Ravana) only to give
a red signal on my way forward unless I knock it down to win it over??..ET will
equip me with the required armors and nerve-tonic !! At least that is in th air
!..So I must hav a tryst with ET....I wish It was "Entertaiment
Times" instead of "Economic Times"...but "Kat" has to
take a back seat for "CAT"...its all abt "RACE" for money,
honey !!!
Part-2
The next phase to my ET
adventure !!...like "Koi mil gaya" to "Krisshh"...The town
boy goes to metro and bought "Santro" type!!....not xactly like that
but quite an interesting story..
remember what happend in "Koi Mil
gaya"?..hrithik was a dumb-numb.. everything possible to create a species
whose absolute IQ tends to zero!!..now this is the state of mine.. I mean to
say i'm like what Hrithik was in koi mil gaya.....I thot ET will come and make
me superman and I'll get MBA tag..the way hrithik got preity and the chance to do
lot of things with preity...same way lot of things (read money) after IIM...huh
!!..I kept my fingers crossed thinking that "koi mil
gaya"!!..ultimately it ended up in Gaya!!..the much awaited
"Jaadu" seems to hav lost its magical "saaya" ,.. in
between I "burnt my fingers" and went to Gaya!!.."bohut ho gaya
bhaiya!!..I hav had enough!!..........Friends, here, I share with you the
tragic tryst between me and ET, "boleto" Economic Times" !!
One day whiile coming from office I took a copy from the
Andheri station. just like picking up the hottest gal from ur campus and
imagine..u r walking down the corridor..ur hands are around her 25 waist..ur
chest is swelling up..abt to burst tear ur "color Plus" shirt..like
when Poppey chews a tin of spinach with a pipe in his mouth..everyone else is
watching you...everyone who used to laugh at you, label you as the most stupid
guy in the campus!!..they are all stunned now!!..they all are rolling their
eyes..cant believe..u'r going on a date with the hottest/smartest babe in the
campus !!...ur cool bike is standing at the gate...U hav practised a lot how to
start the bike, how to get on to it and how to take "her" hands
around ur waist.."she" would lovingly bite ur ears and u'd press the
accelerator and.. roar by!!!!.. flabbrgasted..would be the onlookers !!
I was deeply engrossed in this evening dream (as usual)
unconsciously walking down the road holding ET such a way that everybody can
notice it...an "Ahaaa" came out!!....i'm dreaming as if I'm
approaching the bike with the hot gal..here ET..I dint know its so sensual!!..I
stood in a queue to catch a bus to my place..yess...some college going galz are
standing thr...my pulses started running...I jus stand in the queue lest any
one comes and takes the position..I dreamt a bit..as if I'm going to strt my
bike..I held out the ET from its A-4 size folded state..placed the front page
before me..before I start th stage show I cast a furtive glance all around..the
galz are gossipping among them (as usual)...I should look like an intelligent
business guy..as if I hav cleared CAT, GMAT everything ..they r jus child's
play to me!!..I know everything of the market..and even when to buy th stocks,
drivative and the mutual funds........enough dreaming!!..now I cast my eyes on
the front page...suddenly I feel like I landed in a desert...i can see only
yellow sands all over..nd some black ants -like creatures crawling on the
yellow desert!!..It must be a Mangolian desert and the black ant-like
creatures??...Yess I hav seen them in "The Mummy"!!..though I can
remember only the heroine..still the front page of ET reminded me of the film's
ant-like black creatures crawling on the yellow sand !!....CLEAN BOWLED!! I jus
felt like having a glass of water...I tried to see the galz from behind the
pages whethr they r looking at me...I had the feeling all were laughing at
me..the galz understood my fish-out-of-water state!!...jus picture this..u with
ur date..u both sat at a table in Barista..she starts speaking in highly
US-accent angrezi...and u picked up nothing!!..all the words seem to whizz past
ur ears..u cant caatch them at all..u jus
say.."yaah..."...."cooool"...and nodding ur head at her
every word untill she screams " so u believe in sleeping with ur 1st date
on the very 1st "date"?..ehhh??..u all guys are sick !!!"...u
jus woke up and stopped ur head-nodding which was jus like head-banging..and
the next few minutes u wud spend to move ur head horizontally like a door
hinged at ur spine saying "no nooo...bilkul nehi!!"...hindi would
come out..."slip" of the tongue!!..then the waiter wud come and place
the bill..U would take the bill in your hand and look at her blankly.... she is
busy with her make up kit...moistning her lips to make them more
luscious...hmmmm..u jus chuckled and then a relaxed into a big grin...those are
the lips tht hav sucked up all the money that ur father has earned thru so much
struggle..and she's is covering that with luscious color !!..huh..u wud go back
home and call up ur chhutki!! and say "baach gaya !!!"...
I was jus thinking all this and took the auto-way to my
flat..auto is the best..no one woud see me..i can reach home very fast..i dont
wnt to show others my tryst with ET...I surreptitiously walked up to the flat
and sneaked into my room with ET again back to its A-4 size folding state. Now
u can find my tonight's "date" ET on my bed !!!!...huh!!...Just to
put my dinner plate on it!!..and I'll turn the TV on....tune it to my fav music
channel...I'll watch KAT dancing and singing "kiss me kiss
me..."...ET is undr my dinner plate..some dal makhani has spilled over on
to it..nothing doing boss !!...ultimately 1st date goes to dustbin
..always!!....now if someone askes me "what is SENSEX?"...I wud be
able to answer it complacently..hehhe...reply woud be "female!!...smile....sex
of sen is always female...Sushmita Sen, Rima Sen, Raima Sen, Riya Sen...all are
femalezzzz !!!!!!!!"...........I learnt a lot from my 1st tryst (or date?)
with ET !!!.....
The end !! [;)]