Some time in 2008..
suddenly i didnt feel like doing anything. i sat on my bed
with a blank look. i didnt even take off my forml trousers..which i have been
using for the last one week..they're not stinking.. not looking shabby either!
the lower part of my body is pretty comfortable under them!!!.... I thought i
wud cook sumthing for dinner...and then relax with my latest collection
"the Black Swan"...I was just about to enter the 2nd page...but didnt
know what happnd..i went completely blank!!..i kept the book aside
unconsciously...i stared at the wall for some time...i dont know exactly how
long i was in that state.......... an idea dawned upon..i shud drop the idea of
cooking.and i did the same...its for the 3rd time i droppd the idea of cooking
my dinner for consecutively 3 dayz...i took pity on the eggs i bought 3 days
ago..i thought wisely its high time i kept them in my mini freeze!! i opened
the freeze only to see packaged food stuffed in it..some were ordered one week
back...they're still crowding my mini freeze...and it was stinking like hell as
if i opened a doorway to a mummy's secret place in a pyramid!!!..i just slammed
the door..again sat blankly for some time...the eggs remained in my hand!!!!..i
dont remember now what i did after tht...memory-loss for the next few
minutes!!!... i remember taking the door key and going out at 10 in the night.
though mumbai never sleeps still i had a feeling i was cruising on a dark sea
and i'was alone in my cruise !! ...i'm the captain of my ship and i'm the only
passenger in the cruise enjoying the sea-breeze.......i bought one
"bhajji-pao" (totally different frm "pao-bhaji") and took
the road back to my flat while taking tiny bites of my dinner..i took utmost
care so that i didnt eat it up before i reach my flat...the bhajji-pao was the
only companion then!!!........no...not only!!... lot of "human like
creatures" were there on the road...some beautiful species (they are
called galz) were returning home...dont know from where...and some were leaving
home..again dont know for where!!....but i was pretty much comfortable with my
bhajji-pao..it was much much beautiful than those "galz"!!!...anyways
i sped up towards my flat..the "galz" must be wondering "where
did this creature come from?" ....before they got a suitable guess i
reached my flat and a birp came out as i unlocked the door...I didnt feel like
logging into internet...coz didnt expect any mail nor a scrap...looking blankly
at the wall is bettr than turning on the TV....radio sounds like siren in
war-torn Hiroshima!!!...and music stored in PC is no better than the freezed
food packets bought one week back!!.....
I remembeer the whole day at office...i hardly have any
friend there..one or two.. they sit at different floors!!..only short meet up
at canteen during lunch and snacks time...they go back as soon as they finish,
they have to coz they hav lot of work to do....its not that i dont hav any work
to do..but my trainee designation doesnt burden me with loads but bit by bit..
catiously...what i'm supposed to do is take initiative on my part and
learn..here lies the problem as i am used to cruising on a dark sea and this
dark sea has made me blind..i cant find any island with my pair of eyes...i can
see only dark sea all around..and i'm with my pc at two places: office and
home....and dark sea all around....